THE RAPTURE

Buencamino is a fellow of Action for Economic Reforms. This was published in the March 16, 2011 edition of the Business Mirror, page A6.

“The end of the world has been delayed two weeks due to a lack of experienced trumpeters.”

I received this text message last weekend:

“It’s devastating watching CNN. We see many new earthquakes hitting Japan in great intensity since yesterday. We saw appalling scenes like villages being swept away and now the scary possible nuclear meltdown. Why is God showing His world rage n anger? God owns the world n His people 4get that He is Lord, Master n Creator of all. This is a Warning to LA, Frisco, NY of USA, England, China, Russia n the 1st World rich nations. We’re only in March n the rest of 2011 wil hv more disasters. Marians knew her msgs n people ignore God. We hv not seen the huge comet hitting the earth yet. God sees how the world is not pleasing Him. Middle east is self destructing n here at Congress they r tampering with LIFE like they r God. Shame! Beware Pro RH people! Pls PRAY n pls pass!”

To be perfectly frank, I saw the earthquake and the tsunami that hit Japan from a purely scientific perspective. I didn’t think God was still involved in the micro management of His planet because from what I recall in my catechism classes God rested after a week’s work. It turns out I could be wrong, as usual.

A second reading of the text above led me to believe that God is not punishing anybody yet. He was only sending a warning to “LA, Frisco, NY of USA, England, China, Russia n the 1st World rich nations” that if they did not hear this particular warning then surely they will hear the sound of a huge comet hitting the earth. I concluded that God must have created Japan to serve as an early warning device for the rest of the planet.

However, seeing Japan as an early warning device did not answer the question why so many people had to experience such horrible deaths. I wondered why God did not do what he did in a deserted part of the planet. The obvious answer came to me: God was punishing the Japanese people because they forgot that “He is Lord, Master n Creator of all.” Including infants and toddlers? Well, yes because God said, “You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me.” God punished Japan because He was jealous of Hello Kitty.

In 2010, a devastating earthquake in Haiti killed more than a hundred thousand people. That calamity, according to American televangelist Pat Robertson, was because the Haitians made a pact with the devil. “Something happened a long time ago in Haiti and people might not want to talk about. They were under the heel of the French, you know Napoleon the Third and whatever. And they got together and swore a pact to the Devil. They said ‘We will serve you if you will get us free from the Prince.’ True story. And so the Devil said, ‘OK it’s a deal.’ And they kicked the French out. The Haitians revolted and got something themselves free. But ever since they have been cursed by one thing after another.”

So I fear for the North Africans and Middle Easterners who are revolting against their governments because Muamar Khadaffy said they are drug-crazed rebels working in tandem with Al Qaeda, the Arab name of Satan. There’s no reason not to believe Khadafy. “True story” Robertson would say.

I also fear for our representatives in Congress who are on the verge of passing the Reproductive Health Bill. Well maybe not because they have been asking for it for the longest time and in more ways than you can shake a stick at.

At any rate, I could not sleep all weekend because of the text. At dawn yesterday, I phoned my confessor and told him I wanted a God who loves me, one who created me so we could spend eternity together. He called me a gay-loving anti-life bleeding-heart liberal. I’m doomed.