Buencamino is a fellow of Action for Economic Reforms. This piece was first published in Interaksyon.com on November 30, 2011.

I have great faith in God’s will. I believe that I am here now because that is the plan of God for me and for us. – Gloria Macapagal Arroyo (March, 2006)

Yesterday, my favorite hacker e-mailed to me several posts that he downloaded from Gloria Arroyo’s restricted Facebook account. The posts are from Nov. 15, 2011, the day of her aborted escape, up to early morning Sunday the 27th. I do not guarantee the authenticity of the posts. You be the judge.

(Nov. 15, 2011)

6:00 A.M. (La Vista) Very good morning! Today is the day that my Rene (Corona) will issue the Temporary Restraining Order on Leila de Lima’s Watch-list order on me and my husband. Woo-woo!

7:30 A.M. (La Vista)  Atty. Topacio called to confirm na plantsado na ang lahat. Eight justices will vote in my favor later today. Yey! I can leave for Singapore this afternoon. Hasta la vista, losers!

10:00 P.M. (St. Luke’s Medical Center) OMG, what the hell happened?


(Nov.18, 2011)

7:30 P.M. (SLMC) Plantsado na ang lahat? Puñeta! I was arrested an hour ago. Tomorrow they’re going to book me and take my mug shots. I’m going to cut off Atty. Topacio’s atrophied testicles right now!


(Nov.19, 2011)

5:30 A.M. (SLMC)  I couldn’t sleep. I stayed up all night wondering why Mike disappeared when the police came to arrest me last night.  This morning he told me he did not run away, he left the room because he could not bear to watch the love of his life get arrested. How sweet naman…and so fragile, my Mike. Oy, that’s Mike Arroyo mga chismoso!


(Nov. 23, 2011)

8:45 P.M. (SLMC) Why did Midas (Marquez) lie about the TRO? Nabisto tuloy ang plano ko! I wanted to kill him but Mike showed me that incident with the microphones on You Tube. It went viral pala! Pobrecito tambien that Midas. What an awkward way to come out of the closet. Mike and I shared a good laugh na lang.

(Nov. 25, 2011)

5:00 P.M. (SLMC) Nobody noticed the leather pants I wore for that flight to Singapore until Jenny Ortuoste of Standard Today wrote about it in her column.

“Why if she is so sick, was she wearing skinny leather pants and platforms (shoes) when they tried to flee that night? Do you know how hard it is to get into leather pants, especially the skinny kind, when you’re well and healthy, let alone so ill that you’re wearing a halo vest that drastically limits mobility and your condition ostensibly so bad that you have to go abroad for medical attention? It makes you wonder if her mobility is all that compromised,” she wrote.

I’ll have her fired. Merry Christmas, Jenny.


(Nov. 26, 2011)

2:00 A.M. (SLMC) I can’t sleep. I’m still bothered by what happened at the airport. Whose idea was it to make me wear a halo-vest? I would look kawawa daw. I would win the public’s sympathy and make Noynoy look mean daw. Puñeta! The halo-vest made me look like Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs!

11:30 P.M. (SLMC) A lot of people think I will seek political asylum if I’m allowed to leave. Morons! Political asylum is for penniless political refugees and deposed dictators with frozen bank accounts. Hello, my bank accounts are not frozen. I can buy all of Portugal and half of Spain if I want to… they will welcome my deposits with open arms… they will fight for the privilege of giving me permanent resident status…  Hay naku I can go on all night but my nurse just told me I need to get some sleep. Okay, good night, sweet dreams everyone.


(Nov. 27, 2011)

3:30 A.M. (SLMC) I can’t sleep. It’s been nine days since my arrest, how much longer will I have to wait before my Rene sets me free?  Spokesman ko lang yan dati, noh.