Torture Bay

Buencamino does political commentary for Action for Economic Reforms. This article was published in newspaper Today, February 9, 2005, p.7.

You don’t have to be Freud to know why Rumsfeld and Cheney believe one man’s torture is another man’s pleasure.- M. Buencamino

Maureen Dowd, a columnist for the New York Times, wrote an article
about American women working as physical therapists in a tightly
guarded retreat in Cuba. The resort is owned and operated by Pentagon®,
a company managed by businessmen associated with a party of rich white
folk.

Billed as an exclusive and secluded resort for devout Muslims from all
over the world, the retreat is famous for being partial to adventurous
but deeply religious Arabs who are in need of physical therapy and
someone to share their innermost secrets with.  One of the resort’s main attractions is the uniform of its female staff—miniskirts, tight t-shirts, and thongs.

Ms. Dowd describes how the resort’s scantily clad female staff work on helping bashful Arabs overcome their shyness and reluctance to participate in soul-baring sessions. Quoting from a story told by a former employee of the resort, she relates how management encouraged its female employees “to make Muslim men talk in late-night sessions featuring sexual touching, displays of fake menstrual blood, and parading in miniskirt, tight t-shirt, bra and thong underwear.”

The former employee who worked as an Arabic translator for the resort said  Muslim guests who came into contact with menstrual blood could not clean themselves before prayer because there were no washbasins in the guestrooms.

Ms. Dowd was outraged, as most people would be, when she learned about
this. She called it torture. Obviously, it’s torture for anyone to stay at a resort with inadequate facilities, especially if one were a menstruation-stained male Muslim.

The real hardcore torture, however, occurred at another Pentagon® resort  where a trailer park honey who had herself photographed with a  pile of naked Arabs, ran amuck and rubbed herself against anything that moved.

This idea of encouraging Muslim men to bare their souls in late-night sessions featuring scantily clad trailer parkettes was first broached at a management brainstorming session.  At the time, everyone believed the concept was sound, as it was based on the real-life experiences of rich white men who can’t help but talk and bare their souls whenever they find themselves alone in a room with a barely naked lady.

Well, things didn’t turn out as they were supposed to, and Pentagon® might be forced to drop sex from its menu of methods. It has just commissioned a study to determine whether ramming a broomstick handle or a chemical lightbulb up an anus; running an electric current through nipples and testicles; and erecting totem poles of naked Arab males should be considered standard or special items on the menu.

Many have wondered why such a study needs to be commissioned at all. They  forget that Pentagon® is about rich white men who think honeypot is anything that contains a lot of money, instead of something that‘s barely hidden by a thong. They forget it’s about the kind of people who can derive pleasure from a good whipping.

Most of all, they forget that ascertaining through “field-based research” which is really the stronger drive—receiving pleasure or avoiding pain—attests to the seriousness of  the war against terror.


There’s no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it. – Ovid (43? B.C.-A.D. 18)

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