Pyrrhic Victory or Victorious Pricks?

Buencamino writes political commentary for the NGO Action for Economic Reforms. This article was published in Malaya, September 5, 2005 edition, page A5.

Over at the ANC channel, Korina Sanchez was asking one of Gloria’s tissues whether he was certain that their victory in the House Justice Committee was not pyrrhic. Korina was having a little trouble with pronouncing pyrrhic. She should have just pronounced it as prick because that’s what it was—a victory for pricks.

From the get-go everyone was aware of the tactic of filing a weak impeachment complaint as a pre-emptive strike against a strong complaint. It was first used in 2001 by then vice president Gloria Arroyo through the same lawyer who filed this year’s complaint. Then, it was endorsed by Prospero Pichay, a Gloria trustee. This time, it was endorsed by a party list representative, Rodante Marcoleta, whose party has been trying to throw him out of their party list congressional seat since last year.

Marcoleta’s fate sits with the House so we can be sure that absolutely no pressure was applied on him by anyone even remotely associated with Gloria. No one, he claimed, talked to him except his party. Except that no one in his party is talking to him.

The justice committee hearings were interesting to watch. A friend who watched it with me commented that the behavior of the majority bloc proved the thesis that not everyone should be allowed to pursue higher education, especially the law. She observed that many of those who were arguing the law would have served humanity better if they had just studied a craft.  I was flabbergasted by her remark and replied, “Hey, they are crafty.”   “There you are,” she exclaimed. “They turned a noble profession into a craft devoid of art or inspiration.”  “Not so!” I countered, “They are very creative.”

Edcel Lagman created an answer to former speaker Arnulfo Fuentebella’s claim that the Lozano complaint was not verified. He argued that Oliver Lozano was a lawyer and signed the thing so it amounted to virtual verification. Ah, the language of the computer age conjured by a magical dinosaur. Yes T. Rex, we live in a world of virtual truths and verifiable lies.

The majority went into the impeachment hearings with the same intention as Raul Gonzalez’s canvass committee last year: gang rape. However, like all well-laid-out plans, the planners did not get laid.  That’s what made the close of the hearings so funny to watch.

While Congressman Edmundo Reyes, Jr. was concluding his speech, TV cameras panned across the faces of Lagman, Simeon Datumanong and Marcelo Libanan. They were all looking down their laps because they knew Reyes would walk out and leave them to their own designs as soon as he finished speaking. The gang of rapists appreciated the fact that they would spend the rest of the night with nothing but their d***s in their hands. No gang rape. Just 51 congressmen jerking themselves off in a virtual debate over a virtually verified piece of veritable trash. It’s the fate of all who fall for Gloria.

Look at Fidel Ramos. After running to Gloria’s aid in exchange for a fling with cha-cha, he was left standing with his pants around his ankles, waiting.  At your age, Fidel, just hike up your pants. She likes to stay on top.

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