Mad Dogs and Englishmen

Buencamino is a fellow of Action for Economic Reforms. This political commentary came out in the Business Mirror on September 17, 2008, page A6.

“With noon day clarity,” ZTE whistleblower Jun Lozada was not kidnapped, so ruled three Court of Appeals justices.

“At twelve noon the natives swoon, and no further work is done—But Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun,” so sang the English composer and playwright Noel Coward.

The Appeals Court justices found it “too much too accept” that a member of Gloria Arroyo’s cabinet would abduct a ranking government official to prevent him from testifying against her.

“Bolyboly-bolyboly-bolyboly-baa. (Repeat)

“Habaninny-habaninny-habaninny-haa. (Repeat)

“It seems such a shame that when the English claim the earth
“That they give rise to such hilarity and mirth…”

Let’s pretend Jun Lozada is a paranoid schizophrenic and his claim of kidnapping was a mere hallucination, the product of his deranged mind.

“In the Philippines there are lovely screens,
to protect you from the glare…
But Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.”

Nine lovely Supreme Court justices braved the midday sun to shield Gloria Arroyo. They said the issue was about the sanctity of executive privilege and not about making sacrosanct the concealment of criminal activity by the president.

“Papalaka-papalaka-papalaka-boo. (Repeat)

“Digariga-digariga-digariga-doo. (Repeat)

“The natives grieve when the white men leave their huts,
Because they’re obviously, absolutely nuts—

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.”

Solicitor General Agnes Devanadera labored on in the heat, trying to sell the outrageous tale that Gloria Arroyo never read the Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain (MoA) and never authorized her peace negotiator, her peace adviser, and her foreign secretary to go to Kuala Lumpur to sign an agreement she never read but bragged about in her last State of the Nation Address.

“The panel conveyed to me that the MoA was not submitted to the Office of the President…. She never saw it, she was never shown a copy,” Agnes insisted, as if she fell asleep during the last SONA and never heard Gloria say,  “A comprehensive peace has eluded us for half a century. But last night, differences on the tough issue of ancestral domain were resolved.”

A justice from the Court of Appeals alleged that the agent of a litigant offered him a P10 million bribe. The accused briber denied the charge.  An investigation discovered that the whistleblower’s elder brother, at the instigation of another lawyer connected with the opposing party, also tried to influence the decision.

“In the jungle town where the sun beats down, to the rage of man or beast,
The English garb of the English sahib merely gets a bit more creased….”

The investigation led to the suspension of the whistleblower, the reprimand of three justices, the firing of one justice, and a possible criminal prosecution for the two “agents” who meddled in a pending case. The instigator got a free pass.

“Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.

“The toughest Burmese bandit can never understand it….

“The smallest Malay rabbit deplores this stupid habit.”

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