It’s the real thing

Buencamino is a fellow of Action for Economic Reforms. This article came out in the Business Mirror on October 8, 2008, page A6.

Coke is a spermicide, Diet Coke works best, but they kill sperm too slowly to prevent pregnancy “so we don’t advocate douching with Coke for contraception,” said Deborah Anderson, a member of the team that researched on the use of Coke for birth control.

An old urban legend is confirmed and finally laid to rest. Rest in peace.

And it’s about time.

For far too long Coke has been a convenient and inexpensive common folk alternative to condoms and birth control pills. Now we know it doesn’t work.

Besides, the evolution from the 6 oz. contoured bottle introduced in 1916 to today’s can and 2 liter family size container has made it quite inconvenient as a douche.

I’ve always been intrigued by the Coke and sex connection so I did some research on Coke slogans, to see if they contained some subliminal sexual history relevant to the topic at hand.

These, from selected years, are the slogans with subliminal ties that bind:
1917 – Three million a day.
1922 – Thirst knows no season.
1923 – Enjoy life
1925 – Six million a day.
1926 – It had to be good to get where it is.
1938 – The best friend thirst ever had.
1948 – Where there’s Coke there’s hospitality.
1952 – What you want is a Coke.
1963 – Things go better with Coke.
1969 – It’s the real thing.
1979 – Have a Coke and a smile.
1982 – Coke is it!
1985 – America’s Real Choice
1986 – Red,White & You.
2000 – Enjoy.
2006 – The Coke Side of Life.
2008 – Unity on the Coke side of Life.

I guess the last two were a premonition of the discovery about to be made by Deborah Anderson and her team of medical researchers.

Anderson, by the way, shared the 2008 Ig Nobel Prize for chemistry with a Taiwanese group that did similar research on Coke as a spermicide.

The Ig Nobel (“ignoble”), a parody of the Nobel Prize, was started in 1991 by the scientific humor magazine “Annals of Improbable Research.” It was originally awarded for discoveries “that cannot, or should not, be reproduced.” It is now given to discoveries and inventions that “first make people laugh, and then make them think.”

In 2007, the Ig Nobel Peace prize went to the US Air Force Wright Laboratory for its plan to develop a “gay bomb.” The Sunshine Project discovered the prize-winning proposal. ( See http://www.sunshine-project.org/incapacitants/jnlwdpdf/wpafbchem.pdf.)

Wright Laboratory had proposed a plan to research and develop “harassing, annoying, and ‘Bad Guy’ identifying chemicals” for war.

Excerpts from the proposal:

“Capability sought and uses it could be put:

“a. Chemicals that can be sprayed onto enemy positions or onto infiltration routes used by enemy forces. Three classes of chemical weapon are proposed:

“Category 1: Chemicals that attract annoying creatures to the enemy position and make the creatures aggressive and annoying.

“Category 2: Chemicals that make lasting but non-lethal markings on the personnel.

“Category 3: Chemicals that effect human behavior so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely effected. One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.”

It goes on:

“5. Technical description; Objectives, Approach, What will be done:

“C. Category #3 Chemicals: Select types of personnel behavior changes/effects desired, create and test chemicals.”

Here’s the thing that bothers me: declassified documents show that the US government has a history of using its people, with or without their consent and knowledge, as guinea pigs for weapons testing.

It used soldiers to test the effects of radiation from atomic bombs. Civilians who lived downwind from the test sites were also tested, albeit unintentionally, so they say.

It distributed the hallucinogen LSD on unsuspecting Americans to see whether the drug’s mind-bending properties would be useful in warfare.

Is it possible then that the “gay bomb” was developed and tested?

At any rate, I have nothing against homosexuals and homosexual behavior. They have every right to pursue happiness. I think same-sex marriage should be legal. And I still like Coke.

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